He brings me flowers

A few weeks ago, I was walking the aisles of our grocery store, and I stopped to linger in the beauty of the flowers surrounding me as snow flurries swirled around just outside the glass window.

It's the middle of winter here in Chicago-land. Flowers right now are either plastic or found in the store. The prairie outside of our home is beautiful in its own winter-way but color is lacking. As I stood among the flowers and breathed in the beauty through smell and sight, I wished to buy a bouquet. But that same beauty-loving part of me that loves the beauty of flowers recognizes the beauty in bringing our 16 year old daughter home through adoption, decided to pinch the pennies {the many pennies that it would take to buy the flowers}. And in my heart I dedicated the wished-for-flower money toward the beauty of family together again.

My heart was good with it. It was worth it; love always is. I didn't regret my decision. But I lingered a little longer in the flowers than normal, soaking up their loveliness.

My birthday dawned a few days later, and my husband and some of my kiddos and a few friends went out of their way to make my day bright and special. Despite having some big feelings over a few hurting relationships that were magnified on that day, it was a lovely and life-giving and beauty-full day. Life is always a clashing juxtaposition, isn't it?

Later that evening after many of the kiddos were settled in bed, my husband came upstairs to tell me that a friend was at the door and wanted to say hello.

I came down the stairs to find one of my fellow Mothers of Preschoolers mamas standing in my front door way, bundled up in her coat, holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers.

For me.

She didn't know about my flower aisle conversation and my giving the longing for that kind of beauty over to God.

She didn't have any idea about any of that, but she did feel the urge to bring me flowers that night despite the cold and despite the later hour.

And I know she felt that urge inside of her because God put it there; He worked through her to bring me flowers.

At the end of the day as I looked at the flowers on my kitchen table, lovely bursts of color and smell, amid the cold of the last day of January, I also marveled over how seen and known I felt when I realized each of the four birthday cards given to me also had sparkly, glittery flowers on them.

I could feel tears welling in my eyes as God whispered that He sees me and He loves me always.

All of the time.

And that He loves me so much He went over the top and found a way to bring me flowers.

He sees you today, mama. And if you, too, have been longing for flowers, these ones are for you, too.