Thinking, That's All: The Space of Rest

We all quickly pour ourselves in through the door, breathing out the chaos of the day and inhaling the quiet of the space stretched out before us

Weekly we come together to slow down, to discuss life in this foreign land of busy, seven polar explorers* trying together to navigate the harsh terrain of our over-busy, over-scheduled lives in bodies that weren't meant to pushgopushpushgo.

You know that jar analogy? one of the seven asks, a half smile spread across his face. The one with the rocks and the sand and how if you put the rocks -- the big pieces of life -- into the jar first and then put the sand -- all the small, less important stuff -- in, everything fits?

The rest of us nod, all too familiar with the jar and the overflow of the sand spilling out everywhere and the rocks never all fitting.

It's a lie, he says, spitting out the words like bitter fruit.

I lean my head in to really hear what he's saying, and he continues.

All of that sand, all of those rocks -- you just can't fit it all. Some of that sand, some those rocks just have to go, he finishes, relieved to have spoken up against the prevalent thought that if we just ordered it all right it would fit.

The jar is only so big, someone else pipes in. 

It's true, I say. There's only so much space. 

We sit around this truth like its a fire radiating warmth into cool arctic air, explorers intent on thawing cold noses, hands, hearts that have been captured by numbness.

I know this all too well; time and space have long been rigid squares on the flipped open calendar I'm forever trying to pen my life into.

Thing is, though, just like the jar, all of the life I'm trying to cram in doesn't fit in two by two inch squares.

Just like we can't make the jar bigger, there's no way to add inches to the calendar boxes.

And, the truth be admitted, we weren't made to fill every crevice of time, every inch of the jar until both are overflowing out of control.

Truth be admitted, we were meant to rest, remember every one day out of seven.

Sabbath.

It's a  foreign sounding word here in the arctic -- archaic and bound up in thoughts of rules and judgement and nos.

But at its roots in means rest and remember.

After we unlearn all of what it isn't, breathe in a bit of understanding that was lost in translation of restirction and culture and supposed righteousness, what remains seems to be this enormous box with a ribbon.

And all I can ponder is if I'm really going to unwrap it instead of just picking at the paper.

*Annie Dilliard first related our journey here in this time and space to that of a journey of polar explorers who find that they cannot do life alone in such harsh elements. Her short essay appeared in our VantagePoint3 material that detailed what it looks like to live in community. Our group of seven is journeying together through year one of VP3. What we discuss in our groups is sacred, and I sought out permission before publishing from the group member who shared about the jar before sharing here his revelations that have lead to truth in my mind, just to be clear. :)

This piece is a product of our Bigger Picture Blogs Writing Circles, where writers come together virtually to share a work and then offer encouragement while giving constructive criticism while applying benevolent pressure to others in the circle.

A Sabbath Experiment: Scheduling

This is part four of a series detailing our family's journey on our Sabbath experiment.

Part One: Indications of needing a rest day
Part Two: Why we need a rest day
Part Three: Simple steps for implementation
****

The house is cleaner.

The days {and stress levels} are more manageable.

The overall tone of our home has changed from rushed to {mostly} rested.

BUT.

There are still Kashi Os scattered near the dining room table floor at any given moment.

And I'm still known to rush the children out the door when they are dragging their feet.

So perfect certainly doesn't live here {and never will}.

But calm{er} does.

During the implementation process of our Sabbath Experiment and even before the that, we knew we were way too busy.

And that our busyness was sucking the joy and peace from our days, keeping us from living intentionally and with a decided heart.

So before we put our Sabbath into practice, we took a pretty detailed look at all of our commitments.

And when we did, I found my list was overflowing -- brimming with good stuff, yes, but brimming nonetheless.

My mentor suggested I make a list of commitments and tasks and narrow from there.

Seeing all of my tasks on paper made my blood pressure rise -- no wonder I'd been feeling overextended.

As I began cutting out activities and commitments {prayerfully and with the wisdom from my husband and mentor}, I began to find relief from stress.

1. Obviously, you won't be able {nor would you want} to cut out mothering your kids, being a wife to your husband and caring for your own spiritual, mental and physical well being, so those priorities remain.

2. But I started by identifying doubles -- double volunteering opportunities that other people could do just as well as I could, double Bible studies or ministries that were good but not necessary for my growth. I'm sure you get the picture.

3. Next, I affirmed that just because there is a need that needed to be filled didn't mean that I was the ONLY one who could fill it. And I found, indeed, that I wasn't the only person who could fill those spaces; others wanted and were ready to step up the plate.

4. Because, really, some of those activities weren't actually ones where I felt called anymore. Every commitment I asked myself if that's where my deep desire and the world's deepest needs collided. And I found myself answering no to quite a few things.

5. I prayed about cutting out activities and sought council before I actually made the sever.

6. And I found that wisdom from my mentor actually shed new light on my thinking and pushed me to consider where I should focus my efforts ...

7. based on my season of life.

My most important goals right now are to grow in my faith and health, support my husband and raise my boys into men of integrity.

This is all largely determined by my season of life, so these take priority.

8. And my mentor also helped me understand which commitments I needed to hold onto based on my strengths.

After taking the Clifton Strengthsfinder assessment, affirmation was given in my strength of communication -- the written word, especially, for me. My mentor saw this before I ever did, and she encouraged my meaningful writing adventures, like blogging, because while blogging I was functioning out of a natural God-given strength.

9. I made concessions by acknowledging that my deep desire and the world's greatest need did NOT meet in regard to cleaning kitchen counters and scrubbing toilets. However, that's part of my job during this season of life where I've chosen to be a mostly stay-at-home mom, so that's just part of caring for my family.

10. I made a flexible schedule to allot for my activities during the six days of the week I was available for work and activities with the end goal of Sabbath rest, relaxation, trust and celebration on Sundays.

11. I've been affording myself grace {highly encouraged by my husband} if I haven't gotten everything on my list done by Sunday, and I've allowed myself the ability to rest anyway -- an extension of God's mercy and acknowledgement from my lips that the world would continue to spin if my to-do list was not completed.

12. I've been holding myself accountable to my tasks during the week instead of spending so much time on time-sucking activities like, for me, Facebook and surfing the web.

I hope this helps encourage your hearts toward exploring Sabbath rest and embracing intentional living. Like I said, life isn't perfect now, but it's calmer. And more enjoyable and simple liveable than it was while we were engaging in the over-committed, unrested lifestyle we had.

Questions and comments encouraged! Ask anything at all!

A Sabbath Experiment: Implementations {our first steps in practicing Sabbath}

This is part three of Sabbath Experiment, a series detailing our family's journey* into taking one day of rest per week.

Part One discussed signs of needing a Sabbath rest.

Part Two discussed why we were created for Sabbath rest and why we should consider taking one.

****
Essentially, our family has erased an entire day from our schedules every week.

It sounds radical.

And it has been radical in every sense of the word because the very practice of taking a day purely for rest and enjoyment goes against the grain of our culture.

To clarify, we haven't written Sundays off entirely as a day; we've simply excluded our chosen rest day from our schedules.

Consequently, they've become even more meaningful.

Not only have Sundays become a day we really look forward to, but the rest of the week has been revitalized as well.

I've found through erasing one day from our schedule and designating it for rest that I've actually found more time, more energy to conquer my to-do lists.

So how did we even go about implementing such a counter-cultural practice?

Well, easily and also not-so-easily. I say easily because once we did the harder work of implementing it, we found that our bodies and minds very easily fell into this beautiful rhythm of six days filled with work and one day filled with rest.

Probably the bumpiest part of the journey was the actual start-up -- the whole do-I-really-want-to-make-this-seemingly-huge-change mindset hurdle; but the destination is totally worth the ride.

1. We realized we needed a Sabbath rest every week.

Part of realizing we needed a 24-hour break every six days came from evaluating our commitments. We were overbooked, overtired and overdone emotionally.

We knew we had to evaluate what was most important, and weed out the commitments -- big and small-- that did not have us going where our greatest desires met the world's greatest need.


2. We acknowledged that the world would continue spinning, life would go on when we took our weekly rests.

Essentially, we recognized and then said it aloud by putting our words into action, that God created us to have a Sabbath every week.

He mirrored it for us when he rested during the seventh day of creation. And we trusted He would keep the universe and our lives in proper alignment while we broke from our daily routine, just as He always has and always will.

3. We identified what we wanted from our rest.

We wanted a day filled with no commitments or stress or even stressful thoughts; we envisioned a time to rest if needed, to relax, to enjoy family and to feel rejuvenated through worship and community.

Certainly, each family may have different wants. But the heart of sabbath is rest, enjoyment and trust.

Rest from the daily struggles of life.

Enjoyment of blessings.

And trust that God is in control even when we are not actively "doing" something labeled as productive.

4. We identified activities, conversations and events that would NOT help us meet our end goals of rest, enjoyment and trust.

For example, because talking about money stresses me out, we don't discuss making major purchases or scurry off to the store, a place where I'll inevitably think about our budget and how much we're spending.

We also don't make plans that bind us to being someplace at an exact time because it rushes our family, which really gets John's blood pressure boiling. {Exception: church. But we've been learning to plan for that so it's less of a get-out-the-door-now-now-NOW experience.}

5. We planned to accomplish our to-do-list tasks during the other six work days of the week.

Sounds like a no-brainer, right? Well, this is where overcommitment issues that have not been addressed will become apparent.

Sometimes even really good activities {like volunteering at numerous places or being part of three Bible studies or playgroups} must be reconsidered when you feel overextended.

And, my friend, if you cannot find one day out of the week to rest, chances are you are overextended.

Just like flowers and fruitful plants are choked out by weeds, so is our own fruitfulness when we allow over crowding in the garden of our lives.

{More on thinning out the schedule during part four.}

6. We chose a 24-hour time period during the week that naturally allowed for rest.

Obviously, we didn't choose Monday through Friday because John works those days.

We actually begin our Sabbath rest at sundown Saturdays and end at sundown Sundays. This time period allows me still to prepare for Mondays on Sunday night, but also lends an entire 24-hours of rest during periods of time we normally want to take a break -- Saturday nights and Sunday mornings.

We incorporated an entire 24-hour rest into the points of the week that we already naturally wanted to break from routine.

7. We were open-minded

Well, John was open-minded, and he encouraged me to be open-minded, too.

We went into this Sabbath Experiment with willing hearts -- both by even just giving it a try and by being willing to rework the timing or details if something didn't feel right for our family.

I whole-heartedly believe that Sabbath will have the basic foundation for each family -- rest and enjoyment -- but that it will look different in terms of how it's practiced and implemented.


8. We avoided legalistic thoughts.

At first, I saw days of rest as periods of time where we would have to avoid a laundry-list of activities: don't engage in consumerism, don't pick up a single thing around the house, don't do anything that might border on physical exercise.

Don't, don't, don't.

I was bound in the chains of legalism when we first started discussing Sabbath practice.

But John really helped me see that I was acting more like a pharisee than Jesus by allowing the law to overtake the heart, the purpose behind the law.

It's not: I can't do that; it's Sunday.

Rather, it's: I can rest, relax, enjoy; it's Sunday.

So if going for a walk or a hike brings our family pleasure and helps bring our hearts into a spirit of worship through enjoying God's creation even though we are exercising our bodies in the process, we'll go for the walk.

It goes back to remembering our intentions for our Sabbath: rest, enjoy and trust.

****

Part four of A Sabbath Experiment will focus on getting over the hurdles -- prioritizing commitments, weeding out schedules and making the most of the other six days of the week -- so that rest and relaxation comes more easily on the seventh day.

*Please note that I'm only detailing our experience; I'm not a Sabbath authority, and I don't want anyone to think that by giving this list of steps we took into Sabbath that I've deemed this the only road to getting into a Sabbath practice. Rather, simply, these steps were actually pieces of a conversation John and I had after studying about Sabbath in our Vantage Point3 group.
Life also hasn't been perfect just because we've begun practicing Sabbath. We still have hard days, and I consciously remember NOT to feed the bears spaghetti on those days.

Sabbath Experiement: Why We Need Rest

This is the second of a three-part series about our family's journey in experimenting with taking a day of rest every week.

Sabbath Experiment: Part One: Who has Time to Rest, Really? {signs of needing a sabbath}

This week, Suzannah of So Much Shouting So Much Laughter and I have collaborated our thoughts on why we've found we need this weekly deep rest; we've color coded our words, with Suzannah in teal and Hyacynth in green.

****
"How are you?" they ask.

"Busy!" we reply, wearing weariness like a badge.

We live in an era of constant motion. Overscheduled and underslept, we're running on empty, tethered to the technology that promised to ease our lives but somehow delivered more obligations.

A wearer of the busy badge front and center on my chest, I've long wished for 26-hour days, daydreaming about an added two hours to each day, giving me the time I need to {fill in the blank}. I can assure the word "rest" was not on my list of words for that blank.

Before my family began the Sabbath Experiment, I constantly wondered why I couldn't fit all of our activities into a seven-day time period.

Why couldn't I have a super-clean house, healthy, home-cooked meals, head up a few different organizations, spend time with the family and read my Bible all while doing things I enjoy?

I saw other women who looked like they were successfully doing it, so what was my problem? Why couldn't I keep it all together and smile through it all?

We were created for so much more than the rat race. When we set aside a day to rest, we acknowledge that God is in control, and the world does not revolve around us or our efforts.

Sabbath-keeping, at its heart, is about humility. It's a command, but more than that, the sabbath is a gift and a blessing.

Sabbath exists to honor the God who rested from creation, but it is for us, too: God desires to renew his people, replacing our worry with joy.

As we rest from work and take time for recreation, we are re-created by God, who refreshes and prepares us anew for continued work and ministry. When we set aside a day for worship, play, and rest, we allow God to fulfill his promises to us:

"If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath and from doing as you please on my holy day, if you call the Sabbath a delight and the LORD's holy day honorable, and if you honor it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, then you will find your joy in the LORD, and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob." The mouth of the LORD has spoken. (Isaiah 58:13-14)

After reading His promise regarding Sabbath, I've no longer found it ironic that our family had actually gained more time thought we'd essentially erased a day from our calendar every week by designating it as a day for rest.

We now have more time to laugh. More time to nap, recharge for the week to come. More time to enjoy each other. And even more time during the week to fulfill those commitments I'd been struggling to accomplish.

Of course, Sabbath essentially has forced me weekly to re-examine commitments. I've really had to prioritize my days and engage in the most important interactions -- which then leaves little time for idle distractions that seek to lure me away from what I've deemed most important.

Practicing Sabbath means committing to intentional living daily; it means having a decided heart about what actually is most important in life because there simply isn't time to dip our fingers into the shallow pools of the unimportant.

In the whittling down of commitments, I'd also discovered another reason I couldn't fit all of life into a week's time frame: My life rhythm was off.

I was essentially trying to dance a four-step salsa to two-beat song, neglecting sleep, relaxation and just plain time well spent with the people I loved. Enjoyment of life was fleeting and replaced often with shoulds and musts, as I hurried from one activity to another, sporadically entering into the fullness of each moment and the beauty found in the everyday.

God, our Father, gave us an example of what our life rhythms are to look like, and rest coupled with enjoyment was part of His example:

"And on the seventh day God finished the work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all the work that he had done. So God blessed the seventh day and hallowed it, because on it God rested from all the work that he had done in creation." Genesis 2: 2-3

Our all-mighty Creator didn't abandon work on the seventh day because He was too weary to continue; rather, he was modeling enjoyment -- the breathing in of His vibrantly colored sunsets, delicate flowers, turquoise seas -- all things we miss when we're too busy trying to do it all, be it all.

He was showing us a rhythm -- our life rhythm.

In surrendering our schedules and priorities, God pours out the thing our grasping hands cannot reach alone, no matter how far or fast we run.

Joy is found in the ancient practice of sabbath-keeping. A balm to the world-weary soul.

Part Three of the Sabbath Experiment: How to make Sabbath a Reality: A Simple Guide will be published, hopefully, next Monday. :)

A Sabbath Experiment: Who has time to rest, really?

Monday mornings were always the worst.

Exhausted, I'd pull my dragging body and tired mind out of bed at the coaxing of my generous husband who needed parental relief from looking after our small boys so he could leave for work.

As I'd shuffled down the stairs, the rat race we'd been running the day before simply just continued right where we left off -- with mountains of laundry, overflowing sinkfuls of dishes and a busy calendar.

The days of the week felt like one long blur interrupted nightly by a few hours of rest. Weeks blended into months and months into seasons, and I'd often wondered why time seemed to be spinning out of control.

Though I'd been consciously cutting down on our number of committments and responsibilities since the beginning of 2011, I still felt so tired -- like I was never rested.

So a few weeks ago when we began our fourth quarter of Vantage Point3 - The Emerging Journey course we've been engaged in for the past six months -- I audibly laughed at the topic of our study material for the week: Taking a Sabbath.

I thought to myself, well, I'll do the reading, I'll do the homework, but I simply could not implement the practice of taking a rest for 24 hours out of each week because I couldn't even accomplish everything I needed to do during the week as it stood.

If I lost a day to rest every week, how exhausted would I then become? I'd never be able to complete all of my tasks. There weren't enough hours in the day to begin with.

****

As I carefully tread into the reading material, I found myself simulataneously wanting to enter into this beautiful idea of Sabbath rest once a week while also resisting it and labeling it unrealistic.

In our workbooks, the authors compiled a self assessment of warning signs for burnout. I thought I was doing all right, as I'd only checked three, but one check mark stood out, bolded, dug itself into my chest and buried itself deep in my heart:

A frequent friction with family or friends {easily frustrated or angry, easily impatient}

Of those three descriptions, I've consistently struggled with frustration and impatience; both have been a moment-by-moment battle since trekking into this beautiful, but tiring jungle of motherhood.

I continued to read about Sabbath with that check mark firmly imbed in my heart: the impatience, the frustration with the people I love so much largely stems from being so busy, from being so unrested.

If I lost a day to rest every week, I'd never be able to complete all of my tasks.

But perhaps by losing a day to rest, I'd be gaining something much more valuable, much more precious than cleaned laundry and a tidy house and fulfilled responsibilites:

Perhaps, I'd gain patience and peace and love within in the mess around for the people I loved the most.

Maybe that would be worth never being able to complete my lists.

And, thus, began my Sabbath Experiment.

There's too much to write about in one post, so I'm going to detail this lovely but counter-cultural, against-the-grain-of-Western-life journey into a designed day of rest in segments.

Part Two will detail why we need a Sabbath and how to determine why we need one.

Part Three will explain logistically how we as a family essentially ditched an entire day from the calendar week amid our extremely busy schedules and designated it for rest, worship and family {and some ideas for how to implement your own}.

{Maybe there will be more parts as we continue our Sabbath experiement.}

In the meantime, I will share just a few things we've discovered after having successfully completed two weeks of taking a Sabbath rest {we're in the midst of preparing for our third as I write}:

Our house has never been cleaner.

Our to-do lists have never been more managable.

Our kids have rarely been so agreeable.

And I have NEVER felt so ready for a Monday morning as I have during these last two weeks.

Ever.

And I've rarely felt such a tendancy toward patience and peace.

It's not been perfect or extremely easy, but my body and my mind and my heart {oh my heart} have fallen into this beautiful rhythm of Sabbath-infused life.

And I wonder how on Earth it could have taken me so long to enter into this rhythm for which my soul, my body was designed.

I look forward to sharing this journey.

{If you have any specific questions you'd like me to {try really hard to} address {from my so-far-novice-vantage-point} will you either leave it in the comments or send email me so I can be sure to ponder them before I write the next segments?}