Why I come here and open the flood gate to my heart waters, sharing pieces of life I'd maybe have trouble finding words for if we were in person enjoying a morning together beneath sun while watching little ones play in the still-green grass of late August.
Why I open white pages and scrawl out our story, pushing publish without not knowing who exactly is reading our open-book life.
Why I ever thought anyone would want to come into this space and linger for a few moments of the day.
Why I open myself to the criticisms and opinions and allow voices that aren't always kind a microphone of sorts.
I go through these waters every so often when life starts swirling and churning and kicking up sands and muck. In fact, there's been so much muck and mud swirling and churning that its kind of drown out my voice and let me quiet here and well everywhere.
Yesterday a good friend, a soul friend, emailed sharing much of these same heart aches and growing pains that stir when it comes to writing our lives and stories onto pages for others to read and share.
She called it something along the lines of existentialism about blogging, which made me laugh, too, amid the seriousness of this creative pondering and I immediately thought of a song I used to sing my heart out to while driving -- Straylight Run's Existentialism on Prom Night. And as I ruminated on her words and other friends' words, I began making a playlist because I'm always so influenced and motivated and freed by music.
In the murkiness, the words from friends and the words in song were just what I needed to sit in stillness and let all of the sediment fall to the bottom around my feet until the water started getting clearer again:
"Sing with your head up,
with your eyes closed
not because you love the song
but because you love to sing."
{Copeland}
As I quite literally sang, all those whys I was asking and other people often ask me -- all the sediment -- fell to the bottom around my feet -- leaving clear water in their settling.
While I do sing because I love the song
I sing mostly because I love to sing.
And I think most of the time
we all just need to throw our heads back, close our eyes
and sing.
{If you're feeling like you might need a little encouragement to sing your passion, you can listen to my playlist on Spotify for free.}
