Natural Child Birth: The Story of Baby Emery

The Story of Baby Emery {my niece} as penned by my sister, Jill. 

Where has the time gone? It's been 5 weeks since I've updated and it only feels like a day or two.

To mash everything up together Weeks 38-41 were so boring, just like the rest of my pregnancy (which is a good thing!). As soon as I hit the 40 mark, my attitude changed from, "when she gets here, she gets here." to "For the love of God, get this baby out." I think at that point I had gone through a million bottles of Tums, a billion rolls of toilet paper, and stretched out every single pair of underwear I had. I was done, done, done.

I’ve attempted to write my birth story about 80 times. I wrote it twice and I realized I kept forgetting key events that happened that I found important or super funny. Mostly, I thought they were funny and I wanted to share. So here is goes, number 81, and I think this might be the winner.

I always planned to have my first baby in a hospital, but that quickly changed after my husband and I watched the documentary “The Business of Being Born”. Needless to say, even though it was very biased, it opened our eyes to the idea of a home birth. After some prayer and a terrible meeting at my OB’s office, we officially decided that we would go with having our little one at home

We didn’t plan on getting pregnant so quickly, and we were surprised that it didn’t take very long. We knew we wanted kids right away after we got married, but we were leaving it in God’s hands. My pregnancy was really uneventful and freakishly average. I had morning sickness, I was fatigued the entire pregnancy, and my hormones were raging. During my pregnancy I saw and OB once at week 10. I told her I wanted a natural child birth and she did the whole “Oh yeah, uh, no problem.”  Then at week 14, I wanted to talk to my OB but they just wanted to pass me off to a doctor who was free that day, who also worked for the practice. When I mentioned home birth the receptionists (who do not have any degree in a medical field what so ever) told me that midwives are not trained as well as an OB and I could not have a home birth and they know so many women who’s babies had died during home birth. Cue hormones. Needless to say, we left and sought out our wonderful midwife Barb.

My experience with my midwife was so much different than my OB. Barb took her time with me. Instead of 5 minute appointments and moody nurses, I had a sweet natured woman who took her time to get to know me. I enjoyed my appointments, and felt so relaxed. I never felt rushed unlike at my OB who would send me off to a nurse, then the nurse would shove a cup in my face and tell me to pee in it. 5 minutes later my OB comes in and asks, “Any questions? No? Good.” As she plants her face into my file to even remember my name. Now I know other women have had amazing experiences with their OB and natural hospital births, so I wondered why mine was so snotty. In other words, we just didn’t mesh well and I craved a different experience than what I was experiencing. OK, enough about that. Let’s get to the good stuff.

Fast forward through pregnancy to 41 weeks, I had been anxiously awaiting the arrival of our little girl. We had a name, the clothes, and great baby gear, but I had given up hope that the child was ever going to exit my body. 41 weeks to the day I walked down to the front door of our townhouse around 11:50am to grab a package, and I felt a small gush as I coughed and walked back up the stairs. I didn’t think much of it because, let’s get real, gushing during a cough in pregnancy is pretty common. I’m talking about peeing of course. However, I felt another small gush about 3 minutes later. After 3 pairs of underwear in 15 minutes I called my midwife and my husband. Mike brought me lunch and we decided to run to the store really quickly to get snacks and some more food. At this point I’m only having contractions 20 minutes apart at the most and they get as close as 10 minutes. We walk into Jewel and I feel a huge gush, luckily I was close to the bathroom and ta-da! My bloody show.  So we hurry through the store and then my husband has a bright idea. “Hunny, I think I need a haircut.” He says. “You need a what? Are you serious? I’m in labor right now, and the next thing on your mind is a haircut?” I basically shouted.  “Fine, let’s go get your hair cut, but I’m sitting in the car and not going in with you.” I still wonder what the woman who cut his hair thought when he told her his wife was in labor. In Mike’s defense, the hair place was very close and it only took 6 minutes, and I enjoyed a nice phone conversation while waiting.

My labor had pretty much stalled by the evening. Barb told me to call her when the contractions were more consistent and closer together. Around 4am Saturday morning, I called her when they were about 6 minutes apart. She came by and I was laboring trying to rest. She brought Becky with her, (another midwife) and they waited patiently while I rested. During the day Barb had another labor and Becky left because yet again, my labor had stalled in the afternoon. I labored with contractions 10-20 minutes apart all day, some of which I labored in the birthing tub set up in our bedroom. It was exhausting and I began getting no rest. The early evening came and Becky came back.  She recommended that we take a walk or two to get things moving and it definitely worked.  They were closer together, finally. I tried to lie down during the evening but the contractions were getting more intense and I began to feel them in my hips the most. I felt like someone had been pulling each side of my pelvis and tugging on them violently.

By Sunday at about 3am, my contractions were about 2-3 minutes a part and so painful. I walked up and down the hallway through each contraction for about 2-3 hours. I remember crying to my husband, that I couldn’t do it anymore. I was so tired. My husband said, “Yes, you can do it. Your body is made for this. You’re almost there babe.” Unlike in the movies where the women just want to yell at their husbands, I wanted mine to hold me and love on me. Finally, around 8am, I felt the urge to push. I got back in the tub and asked my Mike to come in with me. Just having him there next to me is what I really needed. With every muscle in my body I began to push to get that baby out. I went from pushing on the toilet to the tub a few times, going between being on all fours to squatting. I was getting so tired, but I was on an adrenaline high. I needed to get this baby out and she was so close. Mike got in and held me up as I squatted and finally I could feel her moving down and I began to tear, which really put me in a panic. I gave myself a tiny pep talk in my head. “You can do this. If you tear, you tear, just get this baby out.” I leaned back and pushed. I remember hearing Barb tell me to get ready to grab my baby. I pushed the last push and then came sweet relief.

At 11am on May 20^th, 2012, after 48 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing, came this beautiful little girl at a whopping 9 pounds 2 ounces and 22 inches long. I was in awe of her beauty and of God’s miracle. This little girl was given to Mike and me, and I felt such a strong love that I never have felt before.

(Tired and happy momma)

*This is purely my experience through home birth and my experience through my OB.


While I'm on a writing hiatus this week, my sister Jill is sharing stories here in this space; hope you enjoy her as much as I do!

The Bigger Picture: A New Sweet Song

We keep whispered vigil in the early morning whisps of Sunday sunrise.



Quiet, the hum of the fan fades into the elongated mmmms of labor escaping from pressed-together lips.



We are dawn-light drenched mother robins perched in the branches of trees, awaiting the first chirps of a small baby bird to add song to the praise chorus of encouragement.

A steady rhythm finally breaks the staccato song of building contractions as morning twilight gives way to full sun.

Fullness in time, a mother's body knows

lets go

and

tiny lungs clear, belt out a tune of beautiful cries --

a crescendo to the swan song of labor

that fades into the beginning verses of a new sweet song we welcome gladly to our ears.

 

Welcome to the world baby girl, EV. Yours is the song we've been awaiting. May He make your life a song of praise.

Natural, homebirth: The story of Baby E.

It must be that babies personalities are shaped somewhat by their entrances into our world. Baby E. is a very easy-going, mellow newborn so far who had a beautiful, peaceful birth at home in our bed.

"In your bed?" you might be asking.

Yes, in our bed. And it did get a little dirty. Baby E. was ready to enter the world before the birthing pool was even all the way filled with water; my body labored extremely efficiently, and our relaxation practices helped to progress the labor very quickly. So, while we didn't have our water birth, as I had hoped, we had a very empowering and successful natural homebirth.

Sunday at 12 a.m., exactly 39 weeks into the pregnacy, I began showing sign posts of early labor. I had a bloody show and contractions that lasted through out the night, though I could sleep mostly through all of them. When we awoke Sunday morning, the contractions were still present, but they were sporadic and easy to talk, eat and walk through. My mother in law came over to help care for the toddler while the hubs cleaned up and I relaxed. She then suggested we go for a walk, and that made me feel really quite good. We came home, and I napped while the toddler refused his normal nap and opted instead to play with his daddy. The contractions seemed to lull during my nap, and I thought perhaps I wasn't actually in labor. When I woke around 3, they reappeared, and I began showing more (unpleasant) signs of labor. If you have a weak stomach, bypass the rest of this paragraph. I had lots of loose stool, and at one point I thought my water broke while going to the bathroom because I felt a huge gush of fluid unlike urination. Many of you mamas know that loose stools are a classic signpost of labor because it's one way the body clears itself and readies mom for pushing.


At this point, I was pretty sure labor was pending even though the contractions still seemed really mild. Have I mentioned I am a huge ninny? Like, huge! I do not handle pain well, so I thought that I really probably was still in very early labor stages if anything. You can imagine how surprised I was around 5 p.m. when my contractions became regular but I could still handle them no problem while draping my chest over the birth ball in the living room. During this time, it was really important for me to have a soft blanket under the birth ball to touch. For some reason it was really soothing, and it helped the contractions sail by smoothly.

We called our midwife, Debbie, around 5:30 when the contractions jumped from being ten minutes apart to 3 to 4. The intensity picked up a little, but each wave of contractions was still extremely manageable. Our midwife listened to my breathing over the phone and decided that based on that, she should come over. When she arrived, she coached me through some contractions and we talked about my first labor and how glad I was to be at home. She was awesome support. Her voice was constant and soothing, and she really hit all of the wonderful spots on my back during each contraction. She then checked my vital signs and my cervix for dilation. I was in complete shock when she told me I was 4-5 centimeters dilated after having only very manageable contractions for an hour. (Remember, I am a HUGE wuss!) I almost began crying I was so happy that my body was doing it's job because with my first son, I was stalled out at the hospital at 3-4 centimeters for 26 hours. That's right, 26 hours! Our midwife celebrated with me that my body was so able to perform during this second labor, and we praised God for it there on the living room floor!

My mom called during this time, too, to let the hubs know she was on her way because she had a feeling I was going to go sooner than I thought. I had talked to her an hour before and told her I still wasn't sure if I was even in labor.

I decided shortly after that I wanted to retreat to my room for quiet and the comfort of my own bed. The hubs was filling the pool when I got upstairs; that's when my labor really kicked into gear and our midwife took one look at me and began scrambling to all of her birthing equipment from the car. I quickly moved from active labor into transition, and the hubs said I showed all of the emotional sign posts of a laboring woman. My body rapidly began contracting at increasingly close intervals, and I found myself saying, "I can't do this!" "We cannot have another baby again!" "This sucks!" "Wow, this is intense!" Those were the signs that I had entered transition, and when our midwife checked me I was at 9 centimeters. As my mom walked in the door, she was told I was at 9 centimeters and said she couldn't believe I went from not knowing I was in labor to getting ready to deliver!

During this time, our labor assistant and doula, both midwives in training, arrived. Becky, our labor assisstant, immediately began helping me with comfort measures while my poor husband and Debbie worked diligently to fill that tub with warm enough water and get supplies together. Our doula, Lynette, held my hand while Becky rubbed my back, each of them telling me how wonderfully I was doing. All three of our labor staff are Christian women, and they prayed with me and helped me relax during the transition stage (read: the part where you feel like your whole body is opening and stretching to maximum capicity). It was quite wonderful, though, like I said it was really intense and the pain was greater than I had ever anticipated. My mother in law arrived in time to start carrying buckets of boiling water to the pool in an attempt to get it filled and warm enough for delivery. But the transition stage was almost over and my body prepared to push before there was ever any hope of the tub being ready. My hubby went into the bathroom and submerged a washcloth in some ice cold water mixed with lavendar essential oil and placed it over my neck, which was relaxing and wonderful feeling during the contraction lulls. Finally, my mom arrived, too, and then I felt emotionally ready to start pushing.

The transition was really intense, and the waves of contractions were extremely hard, but the pushing phase was even harder for me because of the burning sensation around the birth canal and periniem. I can honestly say that was the most painful part. Pushing felt oddly better than him being stuck in the birth canal, but it was very hard work to get him out. I was pushing while lying on my side, but our midwife suggested to go on my hands and knees. I first had the hubs holding my entire weight before demanding the birth ball to rest my chest on. My mom sat in front of the birth ball and rubbed my sweat-soaked head and talked me through the pushing, which helped so much. The hubs rubbed my back and kept me cool with the lavendar, cold soaked washcloth. He was so smart. He even thought to unhook my bra during labor to try to maximize my comfort. I couldn't really say much and I really zoned out during transition and pushing while I prayed for strength and peace. God was awesome to give me both, and he gave me the power to let the contractions really take over my body, which helped give way to a faster birth.

Our labor support staff said, though, that I really only pushed for about 20 minutes, which is really not much. But it felt like an eternity with all of the burning and pressure. Finally, when his head came out, I gave a series of small pushes to deliver the shoulders and a few more to deliver the rest of his body. He came out very gently.
And, oh, the relief when he was out!! He cried pretty quickly. I was honestly so exhausted that I didn't really even hold him for the first 10 minutes or so, plus the after-labor cramps were incredibly painful as was the hip that has been going out of place for how many weeks now. Finally, we did skin-to-skin, and I met my beautiful little boy. He nursed rather quickly and had an excellent latch on the first try. Both the hubs and I were in love! At this point, I noticed how little control I actually had over all of my bodily functions during labor, and I felt like a huge, sweaty mess.

At this point, I also finally realized how many people were at the birth. My sister-in-law and my sister had both made it in time, and it felt exactly right to have all the family there that was at the toddler's birth.

I was really surprised at how painful the after-labor cramps were because the first time around it was not really hard. However, it was soooo extremely nice to be in the comfort of my own bed with my own bathroom and all of my personal-items just a few feet away from my bed. There was no digging through bags for what I wanted, and I knew exactly how to manevure through our space to the bathroom while still very uncomfortable from the birth.

We found out I had a minor tear after our midwife checked me, but, honestly, I was way less sore than I had been the first time around, and it remains that way. We had a good night's sleep in our own bed while the baby decided to sleep, and we have had all of our comforts within our reach -- blankets, clothes, diapers, Lanolin, my favorite coffee from the shop down the street for this morning, soothing pads, essential aroma therapy oils -- you name, we have it here.

So now we're just snuggling in, enjoying learning about our new family. It was the most empowering birth, and it's given me a huge self-esteem boost after our first very hard birth. I am trusting more every minute now the body and instincts God gave me, and I feel very blessed to be able to share our story with you. The toddler is very smittem with his baby brother, as well.

More questions? I will write one more follow-up post to answer anything burning in your mind. Feel free to comment or e-mail to ask.

Introducing our new baby!

After five hours of active labor Sunday, we welcomed our new son into our home from the comfort of our own home.

It was amazing.

While we have yet to pick a name for the little guy, here are some quick stats:

He was born at 8:51 p.m. He was 7 pounds, 14 ounces and 20 inches long. He had a great latch from the beginning, and he's been nursing very well.

He also just gave his mommy his first smile this morning after being awake for most of the night.

We are totally smitten with our new little guy, and his big brother, who was asleep at Grandma and Buba's during labor and delivery will meet him this afternoon after he has waffles with his grandparents. When I talked to the toddler on the phone, though, and I told him baby brother arrived and we needed to celebrate his birthday, the toddler promptly announced we needed cake, ice cream and presents.

But it seems like this little bundle was present enough.

I will be sure to post about the actual birth sometime within the next two days.

Natural Homebirth: More questions, more answers

This is part two of questions and answers about having a home birth. You can catch up by reading part one.

**Sunday morning** Last night I began showing signs of early labor; we're still trying to discern what is going on at this point Sunday morning. But I can tell you, I feel really little stress right now about this birth because I don't have to go anywhere; I just have to be here at home and see what my body is up to. Everything is set up, and we're ready for active labor to begin. It was actually a relief this morning if today is the day because I thought to myself "Wow! I don't have to pack what I think I might need or scramble to do laundry so my favorite clothes are ready by the time we would have to leave for the hospital." It's these little things that people have not asked about, but these little comforts have made a huge difference. If I am in early labor, I'll be sure to update as I can about our experience.

I know not all insurance is the same, but generally speaking, would insurance cover a home birth? Do you know how the cost compares to a hospital birth -- even if you were to not use the interventions like Epidurals and went very naturally at the hospital? -- Lydia

Some insurance companies do cover the cost of the midwife at a home birth -- especially if you live in an awesome state where midwives are the norm. Unfortunately, our state (Illinois) is not very midwife supportive, and our insurance company is not one of those great companies who will cover our birth because the midwife we chose is out of network. There are midwifes in our area that are in network, but they lived farther away and deliver mainly in hospitals; we wanted to work with our CNM in the case of a really quick birth during Chicago-area rush hour traffic.


As compared to our hospital birth plus the prenatal care, we will be paying about $2,000 more to have a home birth.


I have friends, however, who have paid the same or less having a homebirth than they would have paid at the hospital.

"Why wouldn't you choose to go to a birthing center? Isn't it more natural there than a hospital?" -- Anonymous

We are choosing to have a home birth so we can be in the comfort of our own home the whole time. I want to be able to walk around and be in my own house during early labor as well as have the opportunity to walk my own neighborhood at any point during active labor. Additionally, I feel like it's hard to relax during a car ride ... and the nearest birthing center is about 50 minutes away from our house.

So while the birthing center would be more like being at home than if I were at the hospital, it wouldn't be home; and it would require a laboring woman to get in the car and try to relax while wearing a seat belt!


"What if your midwife cannot get there in time?" -- one of my family members

I suppose if my midwife cannot be here in time for the birth that the birth will have been a quick and easy one where not many problems arise. We then would see if she were close before deciding whether or not we needed to go to the hospital to be checked out. But she's never missed a birth, so let's hope ours isn't the first.

Natural Homebirth: Some answers to your questions

Natural home birth has become as common to me as hospital births are in the minds of the majority of American women.

Strange, you ask? Yes, especially when roughly 98 percent of all American women opt to deliver in a hospital.

But I guess it's in all about with whom you roll when it comes to what you think is normal.

More of my contemporaries -- my real-life friends and acquaintances as well as online pals --have given birth at home than in a hospital setting. And these women have delivered healthy babies and have beautiful memories surrounding their children's births. After having the toddler in a hospital where discomfort was at it's peak two years ago, I knew I wanted something more -- something better -- for the next labor and delivery.

So I began asking questions. And I surprisingly found more people than I can count who wanted to answer them because they, too, had been there and found wonderful rewards from laboring and delivering at home.

Here are the questions you have either e-mailed me or left in the comments section about homebirth. I hope my answers can perhaps help those of you interested in a home birth or simply just interested in being educated about another choice women have for delivering their babies. Please note some of the questions I recieved via e-mail will have to wait to be answered until after our baby's birth day.


"Can they bring Epidurals to your house?" --Annoymous
No, not unless it's in the form of a couple shots of whiskey. Just kidding ... kind of!

"Aren't you afraid your bed will get dirty?"
Not terribly because I'd like to deliver the baby in the birthing tub.

"You want to deliver in a tub?! Won't the baby drown if you give birth in the tub?"
No, baby will not take a breath until his face hits the air.

"Why wouldn't you go to the hospital?" -- more people than I can list
Hospitals are notorious for putting laboring mothers on a time schedule. If you have delivered a child in a hospital, you know this little morsel of information is true. If a mother does not "progress" in her laboring, she often receives intervention. Because interventions are so common and birth is thought of as something that needs to be treated (like an illness), most women don't think twice about these interventions. And the hospitals and doctors really like interventions because it speeds up the labor, brings about results more quickly and interventions make money for the hospital and doctor.

"What are these interventions, and what's so wrong with them?" -- one of my really good friends who wants to remain anonymous.
Answer: The first intervention most moms have is a fluid IV. Extra hydration will often slow labor. Mom then doesn't progress as quickly, so synthetic hormones through an IV -- like Pitocin -- that strengthen your contractions to the point where they do not mimic the normal rhythm of contractions are introduced. This often leads to the mother wanting pain-relief medication like Epidurals or other medications. And pain-relief medications often lead to the mother not being able to push well thus requiring assistance in getting the baby out -- here's where doctors use suction, forceps and episiotomies to help baby get out of the birth canal. If the baby becomes distressed during this labor (which could be due to the medications mom has had), mom may end up with a Cesarean Section. See how interventions often spiral out of control?

"Isn't a C-section easier than going through all that pain of delivery?" -- anonymous
No! C-sections are major surgery, and the recovery time is often long! Also, if you want to get a good start on breastfeeding your baby, a vaginal delivery will increase your success because baby can be immediately placed at the breast after birth for suckling and skin-to-skin contact. We had trouble with the toddler nursing well because he was a little looped out from the Epidural and Pitocin. We had many struggles with breastfeeding at first, and I truly believe if I would have labored at home, I would have been more relaxed and not labored for 36 hours.

"Are you nervous about there not being appropriate medical care right there should an emergency arise?" -- Bren
No. We hired a Certified Nurse Midwife, Debbie Boucher, who has attended hundreds of births. Not only is she a nurse who is knowledgeable about how women's bodies labor and how our bodies function properly in general, she is also highly trained labor and delivery. She comes prepared with everything a level one trauma room would have. We also are good candidates for home birth because we live within ten minutes from a hospital should a true emergency erupt. Our CNM only wants us to have a home birth if we are having a normal birth; her training has given her the ability to discern problems during labor and delivery. At the sign of any problem during labor or delivery, she would insist we be transported to the nearest hospital via ambulance. This does not often happen, though, as most women have normal, low-risk pregnancies, labors and deliveries. Plus many studies, including a new Canadian one published yesterday, have found home births for low-risk mothers to be as safe as hospital birth.

"Don't you need medical care for yourself and the baby after the birth? Doesn't the baby need to be checked by a doctor?" -- Anonymous
Yes, we do need medical! Our CNM has the skills to ensure that both the baby and the mother are clearly healthy after the birth. She will assess my body post-labor, assess the baby post-delivery and stay with us until we are both comfortable and resting well. Our CNM's assistant is also a neonatal nurse at a local hospital, so she has wonderful experience with newborns and mothers who have just delivered.
The baby will be checked by our pediatrician a day or two after delivery just like any baby born in a hospital.

"Will they have oxygen ready for the baby in case it is needed?" -- Septembermom
Definitely. That is part of the package our CNM brings. It's important in case the baby or mom needs it during the labor or shortly after delivery.

"Why would you want to deliver in water?" -- a relative from my side of the family
Water births help the mother cope with discomfort and help the mother relax enough in between contractions to efficiently dilate and give birth. Being submerged in the water also helps the mother feel less of the intensity of the contractions.
Relaxation is key to giving birth, which is why most OBs want their clients to take some type of preparation class like Lamaze or the Bradley Method. I recommend the Bradley Method as it gives you many different relaxation ideas and invites you to practice them quite often.
Water births also place a certain amount of pressure on the mother's perineum, which helps decrease her risk for tearing.
Babies born into the water often have a calm entrance into the world that is quite like the womb -- it's warm and cozy after being squeezed through the birth canal.

"You're not scared even a little?" -- another relative on my side of the family
Scared isn't the right word. I'm anticipating, like most mothers do, about how the labor and delivery will go. I'm the same level of nervous I would be about an emergency happening as if I were delivering in the hospital; I know it's pretty unlikely yet not unheard of. But truly that's in the Lord's hands no matter where I deliver!
I am confident in God caring for us. I am highly satisfied with our CNM's training and knowledge, our labor assistant's experience and training and our doula's (also a midwife in training) experience and understanding of my expectations for the labor and delivery. We have picked a highly knowledgeable and experienced birth team for this delivery, but we also trust the body God has created to do the work He has created it to do.

Natural Homebirth: You've got questions; I have a few answers

Most of the time when I tell people we're planning a natural home birth for baby number two, most responses are often thwarted by shear surprise and astonishment. And questions about the whole scenario always follow.

Some of the most common questions have included :

"Can they bring epidurals to your house?"
(Answer: No, not unless it's in the form of a couple shots of whiskey.)

"Aren't you afraid your bed will get dirty?"
(Answer: Not terribly because I'd like to deliver the baby in the birthing tub.)

"You want to deliver in a tub?! Won't the baby drown if you give birth in the tub?"
(Answer: No, baby will not take a breath until his face hits the air.)

"Why wouldn't you go to the hospital?"

Well, that one is going to take a little more than a sentence to answer. And before I answer it, I was wondering if any of you have questions about natural, home-based water births? I'd love to answer them in my next post detailing why we chose this route, and why we're praying for a normal, natural birth here in our home. Feel free to ask via comment or e-mail.