When You Don't Feel Like Waiting Anymore

We are standing at the edge of where water meets a slice of sandy beach, watching shadows of the sun sink closer and closer to the tips of palm trees and the blues of ocean behind thick clouds.

While the sun lingers all day long in the sky, and most of the time I barely realize it's moving, I am keenly aware of it's movement when it steadily retreats into the horizon. And tonight I am asking God for something beautiful to spread out before us despite the heavy clouds hanging in the sky. I'm briefly tempted to abandon the beach and just head home because it's unlikely that we'll catch much of a sunset with all the clouds covering the sky and it's even more unlikely that we'll get a glimpse of the dolphins I've been hoping to see. I've loved dolphins since we first started visiting my grandparents in Southwest Florida, and God has spoken love to me through them. I promise our soon-to-be-adopted teen daughter, who shares my love for these animals, I will report any sightings.

I lean into John just before we are ready to resign from the beach, and instead I find myself breathing a timid prayer.

"God, something beautiful please."

The sun almost immediately slips out from behind the clouds and spreads into red, pink, orange with hints of purple.

Moved by the lovely in front of us and the graciousness of a God who answers prayers, I ask, "Oh, and dolphins, too, please!"

I can't stop the prayers from tumbling out of my lips as the sun descends and continues to set the sky bright acolor.

"Thank you for this beauty, God." I say, "Thank you for the lovely you paint across the sky. Lord, you make beautiful things. God, please, bring our girls home to us. Bring us word of movement, our referral. Please."

Where I end John begins and we are praying honest heart cries as the sunset blazes in beauty before us.

As we continue to pray, I see movement in water before us, and not one, not two, not three, but five fins take turns jutting out of the water. It looks like maybe it's feeding time and the dolphins have found a buffet just several yards away.

I breathe out gratitude and we watch them dance in the waters as the last of the sun disappears, leaving a glow in the twilight of sky and on the water.

I find myself thankful for the burst of patience and persistence gifted to us as we stood on the beach just moments before. And I am reminded of words I read earlier that day in two different places:

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore he will rise up to show you compassion. For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him! Isaiah 30:18

When I wait you strengthen my heart. Psalm 27:14 

We have not been forgotten in our waiting. Our tears, our prayers, our pleas -- they have been heard.

Strength has been gifted in the wait. Blessing will grow in the wait. Beauty has come and will spread into more

like colors at sunset across the sky

like dolphins remembered in their need for a nightly feast

like prayers answered as two pilgrims in the journey stand at the edge of where water meets a slice of sandy beach, watching shadows of the sun emerge from behind thick clouds

and sink closer and closer to the tips of palm trees and the blues of ocean setting the whole beautiful thing on fire with color.

Bigger Picture Moments: In the Rain

It seems I've been praying for spring for weeks now.

Spring with all of its glorious, healing sun and warmer weather and green buds.

But when I look out the window, all I see are piles of snow and gray skies and long bare branches and rainy sleet dripping from clouds, beading and sliding down the window panes in the middle of March.

I feel like those rain drops.

Slowly sliding down down down into a never-ending pile of winter.

I wake up to more gray skies, and my prayers feel like they've been pleaded in vain.

Same as the ones I've cried and then finally laid at His feet while anxiety swelled in my heart the very first day we found out we were pregnant

Only to lose our baby just before the second trimester began.

Just like the night I begged God to allow our midwife to find baby's heartbeat.

Only to find ourselves weeping over the loss in a hospital waiting room in the length of after hours.

Same as the ones where I cried out for Him to send my body into labor and save me from surgery.

Only to find myself in an operating room late last Tuesday night.

I see a lot of prayers, seemingly unanswered.

I look outside, and I see snow.

I look outside, and winter still seems spread out thick over the land.

But I know better.

I know better than to stop looking after first or second glance. And I know we often see only what we look for.

I know better than to get so stuck on those barren branches that I miss the spring birds that briefly land on them.

So I look closer for spring, and I find it in lengthening days.

I look for spring and see the promise of green just barely poking through dark, wet soil.

I look for spring, and I see beneath the snow, in the rain

where love is showered over our hearts in the midst of grief

and mercy is born in delivering my sweet baby at home

and grace is granted in the OR

and hope is replanted in my heart after a conversation in the recovery room

and Words black on the white page of what Stands Forever.

And I see it all in the rain.

Share your Bigger Picture Moment HERE!

Five-Minute Friday: Focus

There is soft gray smoke gently billowing from the chimney of my neighbor's house on a cool September morning, dancing beautifully as it rises.

It presses against blue sky, and I can see it rise amid the shadows of the still-green leaves on tall, thick trees.

But it fades quickly once it hits sunlight, and my focus is no longer on the intricacy of its dance, the gracefulness of its movement, the beauty of its rich color.

Instead my gaze is drawn to the strands of golden autumnal Light

and it rests there

in fullness

in gladness

in peace.



I whisper-pray, too, from behind the foggy window in my dining room

for this moment to spread, seep deep into my bones

so that in the steady movement of my own body

my own mind

my own heart

in the everydayness of life

would focus less on the dance performed in the shadows

and more on the radiant light into which the movement flows.

Living Healthfully: How to Stay Well During Cold and Flu Season

It used to be that if someone so much as sneezed in my general direction, I'd come down with some sort of full-fledged version of whatever virus or bug the offending sneezer had to offer.

For as long as I can remember fall, winter and spring meant nothing good for my poor hacking lungs, tender nose and achy muscles, and I became well acquainted with my friends lotion tissues, throat lozenges and, of course, antibiotics. 

Sweet relief only came in April for a few weeks or so before flowers started blooming and allergy season blossomed right along beside them. 

In a turn of unexpected awesomeness and grace, my allergies dwindled to almost nothing during my first pregnancy just five summers ago and for the first time ever I could enjoy being outside without my tag alongs of tissue boxes and allergy medicine. 

Even after giving birth, I remained mostly allergy free but I still struggled with illness every September through April, catching some sort of bug or virus almost monthly just until this past year. 

When I began cleansing my body this past January in an effort to reestablish my gut's health with whole, clean foods and cultured foods after a terrible six months of irritable bowel-like symptoms, I noticed that my digestion wasn't the only thing that improved: my immune system did as well. 

In fact, by the grace of God, I've only been sick with a cold once during the past eight months, and I've avoided the stomach flu twice when it's taken up residency in our house on two separate occasions. 

Aside from grace, I've noted several changes that have aided in my staying well, and after researching the validity of each practice, I knew I had to share my experience {in hopes that the minute I press publish my whole house doesn't come down with some sort of ailment in a sudden twist of irony!}.

And though there's no magic pill or herb or supplement for staying well during cold and flu season, there are plenty of practices, that when combined, offer hope even to someone who always seems to play magnet to germs.

Say No to Sugar

I know. I know. No, really; I know. 

Sugar is a tempting little devil and it tastes so darn good that it's hard to even think about saying no to the teaspoon in your morning cup of joe or the chocolate chip cookie ice cream awaiting you after the kiddos are fast asleep. Or maybe you don't think you eat all that much to begin with. Or perhaps you just don't think you can survive the 2 o'clock in the afternoon meltdown that ensues when your toddler wants some sort of sweet treat and you deny him that goodness. 

I know. I've been there, there and there. 

But after a solid six months of life with extremely limited natural sugars {I didn't even eat fruit!} and now having reintroduced small amounts of fruit and tiny amounts of honey, I can feel a major difference not only in  in my energy levels but also my body's ability to fight off stress and illness as opposed to this time last year when I ate some processed foods and more sugars than I realized. {Let's be clear: I feel much better with moderate amounts of natural sugar in my diet than no sugar at all!}

Really. Sugar in excess suppresses the immune system. And aside from that, there are about 76 more ways excess sugar consumption damages or hampers our bodies and minds and emotions.

So as painful as it may seem, cutting processed sugars out and eating natural ones in a good moderation may be one of your best defenses against getting sick. If you can't fathom cutting out the sugar daily, at least remove all of it when you feel an illness coming on. Since reintroducing even small amounts of natural sugar like fruits and honey, I've noticed that if I back off for a days when I feel even a hint of a sneeze coming on that my immune system responds better to invaders. 

Say Yes to {Pro} Bugs

Homemade Ginger Lemon Water Kefir

Fermented foods like real sauerkraut and drinks like homemade milk kefir and water kefir are some of the best preventive medicines for fighting the cold or flu. 

Because 80 percent of our immune system function begins in the gut, it's important to consume cultured foods like homemade kefirs because they often contain hundreds of species of beneficial bacteria and yeasts.

And once consumed, these probiotics take their jobs within their new homes very seriously; the moment they are introduced into their new residency they get to work cleaning. Good bacteria and yeast must remain in high population within the gut so as to keep any detrimental bacteria or viruses in check -- as long as the good guys are numerous, they'll keep the undesirables at bay. 

{Also, our bodies actually are made up of more bacteria than cells; so think about it -- we need to keep the good bacteria in abundance in order to keep our immune systems firing well.}

Hold the Light at Night

On your iPhone or your TV or whatever else that engages you come about 9:30 at night so your body and mind can begin winding down. The light glowing from these screens actually awakens our bodies, which can delay sleep. And we need our sleep, especially during cold and flu season because our body makes major repairs during sleep as well as cleanses certain organs.

Chinese medicine says that between 9:30 and 11:30 p.m. your body restores your adrenal glands, which are responsible for giving us rushes of energy when we need them most. Some of us, especially those who like to burn the midnight oil consistently and others of us who bear heavy stress loads, start to wear down our adrenal glands, fatiguing them, which then in turn begins to decrease immune system function. And that's just one example of how tiny glands even determine our immune system response!

Our other major organs and systems also experience restoration and rebuilding while we rest, as the body increases cell division and protein synthesis during sleep. And we need all of these systems to work well in order to keep illness at bay, so uninterrupted sleep is integral to fighting off infections.

Uninterrupted sleep is sometimes impossible with small children, but doing what we can to promote it for both the kiddos and ourselves goes a long way:

* Keeping the bedrooms cool -- about 65 degrees -- seems to help the body rest best
* Sleeping in darkness also promotes uninterrupted sleep -- that means turning off nightlights, keeping cell phones in the next room {we have a charging station in our upstairs hallway}, dimming clock faces, etc.
* The white noise of a fan often provides a peaceful background noise for maintaining steady sleep

Let Go

One of my major pet peeves is when people tell me to just relax and let go of the stressors I'm feeling heavy on my shoulders -- as if that were an easy and effortless effort! Truth be told, I'm mostly go-go-go personality who thrives on energy and activity, and I like being active and busy. It seems like stress follows those of us who like living life in the fast lane. Unfortunately, though, if we're ever moving and always engaged in busyness and activity, we're likely wearing down those adrenal glands we just talked about, thus weakening our immune systems.



Aside from learning there is beauty in slowing down the fast pace of life, I've learned how to incorporate rest and relaxation into packed days:

* quiet time in the morning spent in prayer and reading my Bible
* 10 minutes during the late morning spent snuggling on the couch and reading books to the kids
* enjoying a glass of tea and staring off into the sky in the afternoon while the kids play and the dishwasher runs
* finding forms of exercise that incorporate stretching and focused meditation



Even just five minutes of quiet meditation and prayer a few times per day can reduce stress levels and restore the body and mind.

Maybe you might need more restoration time than five minutes a few times a day? We have a perfect all-day retreat, Creative Soul, coming up at the end of September, and registration is now open for this day filled with connecting, creating and calming.

Don't Feed; Nourish

When making food choices, especially during cold and flu season, keep one important mantra in mind:

Don't feed cravings; instead nourish the body. 

When craving something sweet, don't turn to refined foods filled with flours and processed sugars; turn to something seasonally available to satisfy instead:

Cinnamon butter apples and coconut flour bread makes a nutritious and delicious treat

* apples coated with cinnamon and nutmeg and baked at 350 degrees in pastured butter
* pumpkin pie coconut bread {recipe coming soon!}
* baked apple pie oatmeal

Instead of eating foods that are abundant in ef="http://www.culturesforhealth.com/waugar, packaged, found in the bakery section of the store --, eat ones that are packed full of the vitamins and minerals that support our bodies' many functions, including our immune systems.

Thinking, That's All: A bump

A bump.

It's likely unworthy of any attention or special notice, my favorite nurse says as she examines the slightly stretched, raised skin on one side of my nose.

It's not hugely obvious, but it's there -- a bump that should probably be checked out.

I leave the office with each hand clasping that of a little boy, a recommendation card for a dermatologist slid into the back pocket of my jeans.

As we step outside of the office and our faces meet sunshine, my boys unlock their fingers from my own and are running wild in two seconds flat.

And so is my mind.

I scramble to capture all that has broken free.

I buckle little behinds into car seats and wish that my fleeting thoughts were as easily bound before I settle on one thought.

Could we just have a break? 

My heart and mind long for simple days spent wrapped up in the moments that spread out easily before us, free of tangled thoughts and unrest and dis-ease.

We've known these days, gifts we carelessly unwrapped and tossed aside for each new one that came perfectly wrapped in the new ribbon of each morning's sunrise.

We gobbled them up, gluttonous almost, devouring a harvest in which we'd barely toiled, just barely uttering thanks as the sun set daily behind the horizon.

What did we know then of love that came easily without sacrifice

of health that bloomed like clockwork leaves on trees

or of thankfulness for simply another day

of the Gardener's goodness.

My skin is all sorts of stretched out thin from growing and growing and growing during this time of His planting and sowing seeds of gratitude and trust into our hearts, into our minds.

Breaks don't come during the growing season, and I know, I admit, that I surely want to bear fruit come harvest. 

There is a wrestling in breaking out of the tight-wound bud. And there is stretching in growth, in maturing, in coming to full bloom.

I abandon wild-grown thoughts instead giving my attention to the wild love strapped into two car seats behind me.

We talk about everything and nothing, and I cannot remember the details beyond smiles from the tender attention of a mother to her sons.

He weeds and waters and suns and grows through the clumps, the bumps of dirt, and there's a resignation of details on my part about what He'll use to fertilize and pull those weeds replaced with simple prayers of thank you and a begging to not leave me this way.

And He won't; because this is the kind of love that tends carefully with out break without abandon and without fail.

Everyday Life: And We're Off

Today the boys and I are beginning our trek to sunny Fort Myers for a few weeks to spend some time together, with John and with my grandparents.


During the next few days, we'll be roadtripping down to the sunshine state with my grandpa as my co-pilot, {Or maybe main pilot} so if we come to mind, would you pray for us to have a safe journey and travel in the gentle flow of God's grace and goodness?



If you'd like to follow our trip, you can catch me on Facebook, Instagram and sometimes Twitter. And I'd love the interaction while roadtripping to sand and sun!

Celebrating Christmas: An Advent Prayer

{Photo by Sarah Ackerman}

An Advent Prayer:

As the snow blankets muddy streets,

dresses naked tree branches,

and covers the blemishes my footprints make

with its glorious, fresh white,

I pray,

oh,

I pray

that I would remember

one little Snowflake

grew into a Blizzard,

covered all the blemishes

of a dreary, dirty, dingy world.

And I pray,

yes,

I pray

my heart would be entrenched,

smothered,

completely coated

in the bright white Gift of Grace

You so brilliantly offered us

that very first Christmas.

Reposted from Dec. 5, 2010.

Five-Minute Friday: Still

In the quiet,

in the softness,

in the long shadows

of midnight,

I stir from sleep

{for no known reason}

and sneaksosilently

into the boys' bedroom

lay my hands on their small

backs

rhythmically rising and falling

and pray

that they would know

the greatness of a Presence

that fills the stillness

of their souls

in both the stolen

moments of daylight

and

in the quiet,

in the softness,

in the long shadows

of midnight.

The Bigger Picture: Clarity

Today has been one where I've had to step back from the microscope through which I usually view life and blink blinkblinkblink because I suddenly realized I've been way too zoomed into the littlenss of it all.

The sleep woes of our toddler. Some family strife. Lack of time. Grasping onto only grains of patience. Struggling with adapting my normal eating plan while on vacation.

All little things that have become way too big under this lens I've been using to filter and see.

Upon opening Facebook {Facebook, Facebook, how I love thee, let me count the ways}, I discovered that a fellow mom I know through church, also, the sister of a friend I absolutely adore, was admitted to the hospital and underwent emergency surgery to try and prevent a brain anuerism from rupturing.

The meatiness of the situation, the reality, the bigness, it all forces me to stand back and cry out to God as I move toward clarity and take in the bigger picture instead of just finely focusing my lens on the smallest of trials.

Could you wrap Gen in prayer tonight as she recovers from the emergency surgery? And her family, too?

365 Photo Project: Weeks 33 and 34 {and a big request}

I'd diligently been working on the edits of my very neglected 365 Photo Project Captures when John hollered through the screen door about the skies rapidly morphing from blue to black, a bruise painted against our midwestern horizon.



As lightening began streaking across the sky, lighting up the horizon brighter than a grand finale of fireworks on the fourth of July, I abandoned my edits yet again and prepared our family for a little rendevous in the basement.



G., with his classic first-born characteristics of worry and responsiblity flaring, ushered himself and his brother down the uncarpeted steps and began to panic about the impending storms.





At one point, I had to get down to his eye level, look him straight in the eye and ask him to simmer, reminding him that mommy and daddy were taking care of the situation and that God was watching over us.



Hours later, we've been rained on and been privvy to an incredible outdoor rock and roll show complete with acoustics and strobe lights, but we're no worse for the wear. {Other than still being behind on my edits.}



But that's so very minor. Some families in Joplin, MO cannot say the same. Many of you who know and love Sarah from This Heavenly Life also know she lives in Joplin; her town suffered some tremendous damage from one huge tornado this afternoon.



While Sarah and her immediate family are OK, some family members lost their homes.



Would you pray for Justin and Sarah, their family members and the entire Joplin community?



Would you ask God give them a strong sense of peace as well as for provide for their needs?



And not just tonight but in the coming weeks, too?



We all know that once the media spotlight fades in a few days, the people in the Joplin community will likely need many, many prayers and a great deal of relief assistance.



I know they will appreciate it.



And we know that when two or more come together in His name, our prayers become very powerful {Matthew 18:19}.



It's the least we can do.



And it's also the most we can do, too.



In more ways than one.

{Weeks 35, 36 and 37 are on deck. Stay tuned. Also, in keeping with full disclosure, days 228 and 229 were taken on the same day, as were days 231 and 232 and days 234 and 235.}

A Sabbath Experiment: Scheduling

This is part four of a series detailing our family's journey on our Sabbath experiment.

Part One: Indications of needing a rest day
Part Two: Why we need a rest day
Part Three: Simple steps for implementation
****

The house is cleaner.

The days {and stress levels} are more manageable.

The overall tone of our home has changed from rushed to {mostly} rested.

BUT.

There are still Kashi Os scattered near the dining room table floor at any given moment.

And I'm still known to rush the children out the door when they are dragging their feet.

So perfect certainly doesn't live here {and never will}.

But calm{er} does.

During the implementation process of our Sabbath Experiment and even before the that, we knew we were way too busy.

And that our busyness was sucking the joy and peace from our days, keeping us from living intentionally and with a decided heart.

So before we put our Sabbath into practice, we took a pretty detailed look at all of our commitments.

And when we did, I found my list was overflowing -- brimming with good stuff, yes, but brimming nonetheless.

My mentor suggested I make a list of commitments and tasks and narrow from there.

Seeing all of my tasks on paper made my blood pressure rise -- no wonder I'd been feeling overextended.

As I began cutting out activities and commitments {prayerfully and with the wisdom from my husband and mentor}, I began to find relief from stress.

1. Obviously, you won't be able {nor would you want} to cut out mothering your kids, being a wife to your husband and caring for your own spiritual, mental and physical well being, so those priorities remain.

2. But I started by identifying doubles -- double volunteering opportunities that other people could do just as well as I could, double Bible studies or ministries that were good but not necessary for my growth. I'm sure you get the picture.

3. Next, I affirmed that just because there is a need that needed to be filled didn't mean that I was the ONLY one who could fill it. And I found, indeed, that I wasn't the only person who could fill those spaces; others wanted and were ready to step up the plate.

4. Because, really, some of those activities weren't actually ones where I felt called anymore. Every commitment I asked myself if that's where my deep desire and the world's deepest needs collided. And I found myself answering no to quite a few things.

5. I prayed about cutting out activities and sought council before I actually made the sever.

6. And I found that wisdom from my mentor actually shed new light on my thinking and pushed me to consider where I should focus my efforts ...

7. based on my season of life.

My most important goals right now are to grow in my faith and health, support my husband and raise my boys into men of integrity.

This is all largely determined by my season of life, so these take priority.

8. And my mentor also helped me understand which commitments I needed to hold onto based on my strengths.

After taking the Clifton Strengthsfinder assessment, affirmation was given in my strength of communication -- the written word, especially, for me. My mentor saw this before I ever did, and she encouraged my meaningful writing adventures, like blogging, because while blogging I was functioning out of a natural God-given strength.

9. I made concessions by acknowledging that my deep desire and the world's greatest need did NOT meet in regard to cleaning kitchen counters and scrubbing toilets. However, that's part of my job during this season of life where I've chosen to be a mostly stay-at-home mom, so that's just part of caring for my family.

10. I made a flexible schedule to allot for my activities during the six days of the week I was available for work and activities with the end goal of Sabbath rest, relaxation, trust and celebration on Sundays.

11. I've been affording myself grace {highly encouraged by my husband} if I haven't gotten everything on my list done by Sunday, and I've allowed myself the ability to rest anyway -- an extension of God's mercy and acknowledgement from my lips that the world would continue to spin if my to-do list was not completed.

12. I've been holding myself accountable to my tasks during the week instead of spending so much time on time-sucking activities like, for me, Facebook and surfing the web.

I hope this helps encourage your hearts toward exploring Sabbath rest and embracing intentional living. Like I said, life isn't perfect now, but it's calmer. And more enjoyable and simple liveable than it was while we were engaging in the over-committed, unrested lifestyle we had.

Questions and comments encouraged! Ask anything at all!