Everyday Life: I Need Your Help!

Undercover Mother is getting a makeover to make it more user friendly and satisfying {for you and me}!

I'm working on simplicity and ease of finding answers regarding the following topics

*faith and growing in faith
*gentle parenting in relationship to our relationship with Christ
*health and wellness
*healthy recipes
*motherhood and the parts we don't often talk openly about
*grief {miscarriage and death} and hope


If you could, I'd love your help! 

*Are there any burning questions you have about any of those topics?
*Do you want to know more about something we've experienced?
*What do you MOST enjoy reading about when you come here?
*What do you least enjoy?
*Do you want to see any specific topic covered in 2013?

I don't normally ask such things because I've viewed this blog mostly as a creative outlet where I can share our story, my story. But I've realized that in sharing our story sometimes we have to come to the table and just openly ask of others what they think.

So I'm asking. What do you think, friends?

Thinking, That's All: Together

We've come together in thick humid air of late June, to just be.

Just be. Together.

We swing open the creaky screen door of the chalet, and it's like coming home to a place we've never before been.

A place where shoes are ditched upon entering and tight hugs follow on the tail feathers of giggling and laughter from two lovelies she and I found via friends and tweeting -- four song birds chirping from afar, finally flying toward the same landing spot for one night.

I'm starving, I exhale, after greetings are shared.

We set to work.

We feast first in meal, prepared together in the midst of multiple conversations, over the sounds of summer drifting in through patio screens.

And then we feast some more --

words meeting hearts,

toes meeting sand

photo courtesy of Melissa

waves meeting shore

glorious red streak brushed in one single stroke meeting the bluegray of water just before inky night skies stretched overhead. 



We stay up, trying to cram every last bit of conversation into the time-space we've been given together before eyes begin to heavily droop and we each give into sleep.

I wake -- hungry again -- to sunlight drenching my pillow and voices carrying up the stairs.

I whip eggs quick in a cup and throw them onto a sizzling pan

as I simply soak up more thoughts

more stories

more conversation

more of life

together.

And when the final hour draws to a close, I swallow and pause and smile.

We each reluctantly push away from the proverbial table

linger in last conversations and embraces

and fly off north and south and west.

But we fly off

full.

Full and nourished.

Everyday Life:{Not-so} Blind Date

Earlier this week, I shared with John that I was getting butterflies in my stomach from all the excitment surrounding my blind-esqueish date with the talented Alita of Alita Jewel Treasures.

I was mostly joking about it being a blind date and all, but there was that little twinge of nervousness mixed in with the excitement centering around our meet up, like that of what would happen before a blind date.

Turns out, Alita's house is in driving distance from where my family vacations in Michigan, so we made plans early this summer to spend an afternoon together in July; and our plans came to fruition yesterday when Alita and I met at a restaurant in Kalamazoo and drank our weight in tea and coffee.

During one of the quickest three hours of my life, we talked like we were old friends, sharing ideas and back stories, expounding on thoughts and dreams, giggling over our kids and stories about dating our hubbies.

While Alita and I were talking about the complextity of relationships built through blogging, I shared how I'd started thinking about how our meeting wasn't so much a blind-date type of one. Rather, it felt much more like meeting that far-in-the-distance but at the same time close-to-your-heart penpal you've been corresponding with about everything under the sun for seemingly ever.

Maybe, for like a split second or two, you wonder what if we just don't click when we're face to face. But then you go back to all of the written words that have interwoven your heart strings. And then, maybe for another split second {or three}, you wonder, what if I'm so completely different in person than what I come across in my blog?

But then you see each other and grin wide, hug hello and suddenly three minutes turns into three hours and those thoughts are but distant memories.

And you realize, really, it was a not-so-blind date, afterall.

Five-Minute Friday: Loss

Summer begs for more.

For more days spent lying faceup on blades of green grass, pointing out ships and castles in the puffs of white clouds.

For more afternoons where little and big legs alike trekking through the neighborhood exploring.

For more lazy morings welcomed by floating in cool Michigan freshwater, digging toes deep into grainy sand.

And for more dusks spent counting fireflies from the porch instead of sheep from bed.

So we play long, hard.

We laugh loudly, in abandon.

We soak in the extra sunlight long-streaking through longer days.

I simultaneously lose and gain time.

As the days boast extra warmth, extra light, I'm constantly transfering minutes spent thinking about life to plainly living.

And sometimes I need that -- to be so immersed in living that words from the day don't find a home in black print on a white page -- but rather, they find a home in the deep layers of my memory, firmly etched onto the walls of my mind.

Everyday Life: Enough

E. {who is no longer a baby, so he will now just be known as E.} has been doing this thing where he throws his arms around my neck and just squuuueeeeezes and squeezes and squeeeeeeezes until his little arms give out from hugging me so tightly.



It wasn't something I taught him; rather, he just decided one day that he'd hold on so tight and for so long nearly every time I picked him up that I couldn't possibly even think about putting him down.

And when he's got his arms secured around my neck in a big hug, I can't put him down.

Nor do I even want to.

I just want to hold him and love on him the way he needs to be loved.

During those ultra-long embraces, it's like he simply cannot get enough mommy. And then I simply cannot get enough of him.

A few nights ago as I lie in bed thinking about my sweet boy who was actually lying beside me in the fierce hug position, I thought to myself this is what God wants from me.

He wants me to hold on and squueeeeze and squueeeeeze and squuuuuueeeze when I need to be loved on -- like I simply cannot get enough of Him.

Sometimes I look other places for that love; sometimes I look here to my friends' words of encouragement.

And that encouragement is so, so good. I appreciate it.

But right now, this week especially, as I prepare my heart and help my family get into the right spirit to celebrate our Savior's birth, I know I really just need to throw my arms around His neck and hang on so tight and just squeeze.

I hope you will have a chance to do the same.

I'll be scheduling some of my favorite Advent posts this week, but, likely, I won't be around much. And comments will be closed, so at to not take any of your precious time during this final week before Christmas. {As always, feel free to send word via carrier pigeon or email if you need or simply just like.}

Happy Advent, friends.

Adventures: On having a home away from home

Sometimes I'm overwhelmed by how much this little blog feels like my very real home on the web.

{Maybe that's strange?}

But if this space is my home, I suppose when I'm writing other places, I'm actually venturing out into the big world. My jaunts have been sporadic since Chicago Moms Blog went of hiatus, guest posting at a few places, which have been warm and welcoming, much like good friends' places are.

And, now, I think I may have found a new, more-frequented home away from home at CBS Local.

I've been invited to write there once a week about my parenting experiences and preferences regarding all things family and Chicago.

So if you want to help me warm my new home away from home, feel free to check out my thoughts about our favorite cloth diapers available in the Chicago area.

Bigger Picture Moment: Inside out heart

Welcome to Bigger Picture Moments, a place where we step back and take in life. There are moments where we’re so caught up in it all, the hectic, mind-boggling pace of the day. but here we encourage you to take a moment and view the Bigger Picture. Whatever that means to you. A moment where you recognized the role your faith plays in your every day life. A moment where you take note of motherhood and the importance of what you are doing. A moment that made you stop and breathe in the bigness of it all -- the hugeness that is life and all the small moments adding up to one Bigger Picture.

We hope you’ll join us! Take a few moments, think about your week, and pour however little or much onto a page. Then share. Melissa is hosting this week, so head over to her place to tell us about your moment. Link up, grab our button, and share your Bigger Picture Moment. And while you’re at it, share the love and check out at least one other participant’s moment, too! Maegan will be hosting next week, so keep an open mind and heart throughout the week and come back to participate again or for the first time! All are welcome!


Just tell your story.

She said it so honestly, so matter of factly. How could I not have realized that.

I'm not arguing. I'm not trying to sway anyone to believe or embrace. I'm not preaching.

I'm just sharing my story.

These words from my very wise mentor have been wandering around in my brain since she said them.

You see, sometimes I feel if I say anything about my relationship with God in places that aren't "mine" {my blog, my home, my church} that I come across as preachy.

And oh, my. That's really the last thing I want.

Because, really, I haven't it got it so together that I can go around preaching to others about how to live or what to do or what to think. Because I'm not perfect. I've got my own baggage, my own heart issues, my own plank in my own eye.

So I'm not qualified to preach religion and shoulds and shouldn'ts to anyone; and that's really kept me quiet in spaces that are not my own or in spaces where people may not share the same beliefs. My fear of sounding preachy and religious has silenced my voice in many places here in blog land and here in general every-day life situations*.

And it's left me as simply an observer in the conversation rather than a participant.

And that's silly.

It's silly because we don't come together as friends face to face or here in the blogosphere to just talk to ourselves. We come together for companionship. We come together to learn from one another. We come together to connect and share and encourage and support.

So when I take the backseat and remain silent in conversations to avoid sounding preachy, I'm really just hiding. I'm hiding because I'm too concerned with coming off as judgemental or authoritative. I'm hiding because I've seen others label Christians with a whole slew of nouns and adverbs that aren't very appealing. And I don't want anyone lumping me together with Christians who have treated others in ways I'm positive Christ would not have treated them {Though, I'm sure there have been points where I've acted less than stellar; see, again, not perfect. Don't have all the answers.}

But I think I've confused preaching with simply just sharing my story in most of these self-censored instances.

Because when I'm sharing why I think the way I do and how I've handled situations and what's given me the vision to walk through really dense patches life fog, I'm simply relaying my life story. And my life story just happens to be centered around a Saving Grace. A Saving Grace named Jesus. And unfortunately Jesus has been given a bad name through some Christians who have really let themselves get bogged down in legalism and religion rather than focusing on the beautiful relationship with Jesus.

And that's the thing about my story -- I'm not a religious person. I'm not bound to man-made laws in the name of religion. I'm more focused on being in communion with a God who created me and who saved me.

Ugh. That's where it sometimes gets sticky. Saved. Saved me from what?

Because I'm not one of those people who hit rock bottom and sunk lowly into the deepest pit before she realized that she needed something else, realized that Jesus was what she was missing. I was actually happy before I decided to have a real, lasting relationship with Jesus. I had good friends, a satisfying college life, a good boyfriend, an awesome job and a loving family. I had everything, really, most people ever strive for in life.

Well, I had everything but a real deep-seeded purpose. I had been trying to live my life finding purpose in serving others. I'd been trying to find meaning in bettering the world. But I had these deep-rooted foundational problems with even the very definition of evil and good. And I realized before I could strive for goodness that I needed to figure out why we all have these very basic opinions of good and evil, which is a whole different post. At any rate, all of this questioning really led me to seeking out who Jesus was and why I'd want to love and know Him beyond just believing in Him.

So in essence He saved me from the exhausting and confusing and irritating quest for meaning and understanding. My entire good life morphed when I began a real relationship with Christ. And it really changed my whole life from good to amazing. From confusion to an understanding. From uncertainty to peace. From happy to joyful. From the chains of adhering to man-made laws to the freedom given to us so wonderfully through grace.

And like with any meaningful relationship, it invaded all parts of my life. So I cannot help but often find myself wanting to contribute my experiences regarding my relationship with Him while reading or conversing about subjects or events or relationship.

And the more I think about my mentor's awesome words of wisdom, the more I realize that preaching doesn't play into what I'm doing here or in person when I'm engaging in community and conversation.

I'm simply sharing my story. And my story just happens to revolve around the Author of my life.

{*I should also note that in these thoughts I was really striving to do what Christ would have me do -- and that's speak freely about the freedom and peace I've found in a relationship with Him.}

And I hope, even if we don't have the same story, we can all share here without worrying about being mistreated or labeled or judged.